I caught a Unicorn

So, this is kind of a rambling muddle, but it was definitely related to the game and just...good.

I got into RPG's in the 5th grade. I found West End Game's first ed. Star Wars in a game shop in our mall in Casper, WY. I ended up sorta-kinda running that first mission for about twelve kids--not really rolling dice or anything, but just having fun. From there it became White Wolf in high school in all it's terrible glory. Like all gamers, my friends and I started toying around with a homebrew game, a post-apocalyptic vampire cyberpunk mash-up that was not in any way good, but it was fun.

I remember as I was getting ready to go to college, looking at my row of gaming books, and thinking "well, I'll wait until I get there. If anybody else plays, I'll bring them after Christmas Break."

...when I got there, I ran into Cornell Chess and Games. eighty-odd gamers of all stripes. Somehow I became president of that little band for three and a half years, and it brought me connections to some absolutely amazing people, some of my best friends, and some great stories. Seriously, it was one of the best moments of my life.

While there, my inner cabal of friends and regular players started toying around with the idea of making our own game (again). This one was based off of some old fantasy notes my friend had, and we spent about four years building the world of Dael'yth. For me, the big thing I really got into though was the mechanics--I remember moments of brilliant clarity on hows and whys and why this rule would impact this. I put years of time and energy into it, and we played it enough to understand that it worked well enough for me to say "I made a game system that works."

Then I lost it.

Partly because real life and love started getting in the way of my ability to game, partially because people moved away and apart like you do, but a big part was because my laptop died. I got some of the notes back, but not enough. There were just bits and pieces of all that work.

 I had lost my baby.

So I keep going, find gamers online, have a good time, and start thinking of this...really weird idea we're working on now. I'm pondering mechanics even though it's not my focus, and while I'm using what I learned from Dael'yth, it's never really clicking right...

Cue Wednesday. I've been sick--like, really sick. Bad enough for me to go to the doctor, which is a once-in-a-decade thing for me. I'm at home, feeling miserable. I look up a few emails to get a few laughs from old times...

What's that??

It's an email from 2005 marked simply "Hello you!". It's from me, and it's got a star by it, which is odd because I don't star crap in my email folder.

...click.

There it is. All of it. The races, the world history, the background notes, and most importantly THE RULES. All the mechanics, the combat section, the magic system--it's all right there.

I devour it up. It's the warm golden nostalgia for me you can pour over pancakes. But even better--it's a working game engine. Yeah, there's things that won't work for this--this is much more super-heroics than that old game's gritty action movie--and yes some of the writing is terrible (did...did I really need a side bar saying "cheating isn't really needed"?? Did I???), but there's a solid foundation there. One I can play with. One I can grow.

I can't really describe it. It's been a big lift to me, and it's made me feel more confident. I'm cleaning up the mechanics now for this and other things. I'm just enjoying that I found it, and that it came to me at a time that I really needed it.

So yeah, it was a good week. I caught a Unicorn.